Jeff and I started talking about having another child in 2005. I came off birth control and I would be graduating soon from art school. So we had it all planned out, so we thought. In the beginning, we never charted or anything like that. We just thought we'd let things happen. My body never got back on a regular schedule after coming off BC...so that can make things difficult. I gave it time. I read that sometimes it can take your body up to a year to regulate after coming off BC. Well...it never did. I kept just waiting and waiting...a couple of years went by. We were so busy, it seemed like those two years passed quickly.
After a couple of years, I spoke to my OB-GYN Dr. about it. She didn't really seem concerned...just told me that I'm not ovulating consistently. She said you may find that your body begins to do that again normally with time. Well, it never did. I would say about that time is when I became really concerned...and really wondering if this would ever happen. I should have been more proactive with asking questions...but I always get nervous when I go to the Dr. and forget to asking what I want to.
Another year went by and my yearly visit came again. My Dr. asked if we were still trying. I said yes. By that time...I was using ovulation tests and trying to somewhat track things...but it seemed very difficult with my physical inconsistencies. It was frustrating. My Dr. put me on Clomid. I guess that would be an entry level fertility drug. I got a couple positive ovulation tests...but still no pregnancy. After taking Clomid for several months, it started causing some serious pain in my lower sides and some other lovely side effects...which were normal for that drug...but I hated it. I decided to come off of that. At this point...it had become an emotional roller coaster. There were days that it just felt so heavy on my heart and I would become so sincerely sad at the thought this would never happen.
I would say...the last couple of years have been the hardest. This wasn't common knowledge. I just really didn't want people to feel sorry for me or feel like they couldn't talk about babies or baby things in front of me. I have some friends that went through infertility and seems like everyone else was walking on egg shells around them. I didn't want that.
My pastor's wife, Sheena, recommended I see a specialist this past spring. I was hesitant but she seemed very positive about his ability to help me find out, number one, what was going on with my body. And if we chose, to help with fertility issues. I went to see Dr. Lucas in Coolsprings and he was awesome. He's a fertility/endocrinologist. He was easy to talk to and gave me step by step what we would do to check on my physical health and then fertility. I had some issues that he had to deal with before even talking about fertility methods so that took several months to get that squared away. I had tests run and some biopsies. Thank God...everything that looked abnormal was negative for cancer. I had some thyroid issues. He placed me on a prescription to help with my thyroid levels. This helped with a lot of issues I was having. I finally got to the place in July where he would prescribe a fertility drug.
I was very hesitant to take it. I know every woman is hormonally sensitive...but I just hate feeling hormonal. Like I can't think rationally or see clearly. So taking the clomid made me dread taking what he was putting me on. He told me to go a head and take a medicine that would help me start my cycle. (And I know that's TMI for blog world but...roll with it.) I didn't take it right away like he told me to. I put it off and put it off. Mainly because I felt I wouldn't need it...it would happen on it's own. After a couple of weeks of putting it off...and me getting crankier and crankier...I decided I just needed to take it so I would feel some relief. HA! I always test before taking that particular medicine and it's always been negative and I wasn't expecting anything different. So I woke up on Tuesday morning, August 10th...dreading another negative test. It makes for an emotional day. I would test that morning and begin 7 days of Prometrium that night to help start my cycle. This has become a norm for me. I took the test and it almost immediately turned POSITIVE!
I freaked out. I thought...well maybe it will fade in a couple of minutes. I jumped up and called Jeff. I was crying and freaking out. And if you know me...I don't do either very often. I told him and he sounded so excited. He told me to test again just to be sure. So I did...two in a row. I was about to get ready for work but I couldn't see going into the office. I thought...I'm going to be crying all day long from being happy. I emailed my boss and told him I was working from home that day. He was understanding and allowed me to. I called Dr. Lucas' office to schedule a blood test. They had me come in that day. They originally told me it would take a couple of days to get the results. I was like...WHAT? I can't wait two LONG days! I called the next day and the results were ready. Tests confirmed a pregnancy. I was SO EXCITED!!! I was at the office when I found out so it was hard not to just let everyone know. I was SO HAPPY. And what's awesome is...I didn't have to take a single thing to help. It happened on it's own. How awesome is God?
The next week, I went in for my first ultrasound with Dr. Lucas. It was an internal ultra sound...which I wasn't expecting. :) Neither was Jeff but he quickly got over the awkwardness when he saw little baby Jones' heart fluttering on screen. We both tried not to cry. It was awesome to see.
And so...I'm eight weeks along now and sick as a dog. HA! But I'm thankful for the sickness and fatigue...that I can even go through it again. Not going to complain. It's made work difficult but I work and then go home...make myself eat something and go to bed. :) There's lots of sleeping going on right now. Two weeks before finding out I was pregnant, I kept telling Jeff...I feel weird. I feel dizzy and tired. He said...it's probably just the heat...everyone is feeling weird. I even said on one of my emotional days of dealing with all this...I keep thinking I could be pregnant but I know it's just my mind wanting it so bad.
Courtney is so excited. We had originally decided to wait and tell everyone when I was 3 months. But after the ultra sound...I just couldn't wait. Jeff was in agreement. So we left the Dr.'s office...went by to show Angie the fuzzy little picture at her work. We decided to take the picture by to Courtney at school and surprise her. :)
We had the secretary call her to the office. She rounded the corner. Jeff and I with straight faces said, "You are in trouble! They called us and you to the office." She came up to us and said, "Why? What did I do?" Then I said..."We're kidding." And we showed her the picture. She knew what it was. I said, "You're going to be a big sister!" She started bawling. We talked to her for a minute and then let her go back to class. She was so excited.
My next appointment with a regular OB is coming up in September. Seems like a million years away from April. The baby is due April 5th. I'll try to update as things happen. We're thanking God for this little miracle baby. :) I don't deserve God's good gifts...and if He had answered my prayers or not...He's still so good.
