Comfort Zone Killer

A few weeks from now a bunch of hormonal girls and ladies will gather at CHH to spend a weekend together at the Get REAL Girl's Retreat. We as staff are going to do everything we can to get through the thick teen and college age skulls ...that Christ is their identity. Peggy, my pastor and the director over this retreat, asked me to speak Saturday night...to share my heart. My immediate response was...UH NO! Then I thought more about it...and decided that I would be obedient. I don't know...maybe Peggy just threw it out there for me to do...or maybe God has a reason...or maybe it just is what it is? I don't know.

Singing is much easier and more comfortable for me to do than speaking. Words are preplanned and repetitive. I don't know how many times I have stuck my foot in my mouth while praying or saying something during worship. Probably not as many times as my mind would have me believe. And, in my mind, I'm constantly fighting against the fact I rarely take anything seriously. So when I go to be serious...it feels...weird...and I feel like everyone else is feeling weird with my seriousness.

I started studying a couple of weeks ago for this and really thinking about it. I write notes down and scriptures as they come to me and I'm putting them all in order. I've talked through the opening several times...but then I feel this utter sense of failure...like why in the world am I doing this?? And then I feel even more pressure because this entire weekend is about our identity being in Christ and shouldn't these girls see that in us if we're going to tell them that? 

I am humbled and floored by this opportunity. It is most definitely bigger than me. I fear the blank stares...the yawns...the glazed over looks. I'm a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and I want everyone to be happy with me. God's really been dealing with me about that. There are many scriptures that tell us we should be pleasers of God and not of man. It's a definite personality flaw of mine. So pushing past the fear of failing man (or women) and allowing God to say something of worth through me is what I want desperately. 

I don't know who all is reading this blog...but I would ask for your prayers. I don't want to waste an opportunity to tell someone about Christ and how we all as imperfect and flawed as we are, are made in His image and we have the power through Christ to be more than what we naturally see in ourselves. What we naturally see is measured against everything else...we compare and contrast with one another. We measure ourselves up against man made images and expectations. But when we see ourselves through Christ...that is the reality of who we are. That's real!